WARNING.........THIS IS NOT A PITY PARTY
I wonder as i am sitting here thinking (that's a scary thought) about life and such would my friends still like me if they knew the real me? and i don't even know the real me. Take blogging for instance which has been fun but it doesn't show the real things that goes on in my home which consist of screaming at kids, being physically mean because being nice just doesn't work anymore and that's not to say i don't love my kids its just everything is so out of balance and you mix it with a stressed out mom add kids that are bouncing off the furniture and the ceilings and what do you get a whole lot of confusion and the inability to cope with other things like messing up finances so bad that thing are really really behind and i am not sure how to get caught up Now keeping the house clean is manageable until you go into my basement or attic which is a complete disaster and the only way to get them cleaned out if we had a disaster and start over... well at least it would be the quickest way to get them cleaned out..just a thought other things that i can list but not go into detail.. depression which is real and very crippling at times and inability to accomplish anything whether it be the piano or doing the laundry it seems impossible to get my act together and relationships are suffering why I dont really know why its been like this for a very long time. That is pretty much the real me..................
11 comments:
Patty---we all have "real" hidden behind the "show". Some have more than others. That's what makes us human.
I admire you for saying "hey this is the real me" it takes courage.Being real, being confident enough to admit your flaws is a personality trait I admire in people.
I am sorry you are sad ((hugs))
Yes, consider this a huge hug from me. And Jayne is right. Everyone has that "real" hidden a bit. I admire you for not keeping it hidden. That says a lot!
Hugs from me too. I'll see you tomorrow morning and give you a real one! I wish I could tell you how to make all that better. Have faith in yourself, you'll figure it out.
Pattie,
whenever I think about the challenges you have overcome in your life and the ones you are still battling on a day to day basis, I feel a deep sense of admiration for you and the strength that you have to do as well as you do every day. You still have skeletons in your closet from your past and junk in your attic and basement, (which are probably psychologically related) but these will both resolve themselves as you continue on the great path that you are on. You are making strides every day. I have personally been so blessed by your selfless caring and generosity and I know that your amazing positive energy is a source of strength and inspiration to others as well. I wish I could be there to help lighten your load. I'm going to forward a cool email that I got this morning to you. I think you'll like it.
Pattie, my heart goes out to you. You are such a wonderful person and you are soooo loved!
Pattie, you are a strong and wonderful person. We love you!!!
Wow...I could have written that post! (except i have no basement or attic). Glad to know that I am not the only one out there...Thanks for opening your heart.
Pattie--I admire your honesty. I am so happy to be your friend and to know you--the real you! Thanks for being so brave.
I feel the same way quite frequently. And yet I wonder, is that even the "real" me? How much do I have to take responsibility for and how much is depression? If I really am such a slacker, by all means, I'll take on the responsibility. But part of me hopes that it is a symptom of depression and that when I get that under control, the rest of my life will fall into place a little bit more. I'm sorry that you're struggling. Just know that you are not alone!
Oh Patty! I hope you know how much you are loved and admired. I think that we all sometimes look at the very worst within us (because hey--we know it all about ourselves) and kid ourselves into thinking that the bad defines who we are.
I personally will never forget my angel Patty who appeared out of nowhere the day I had the stupid idea to buy a million groceries to avoid going to the store with the kids so often. If I recall things correctly Benjamin was starving and screaming, Emmaline and Noah were running wild, and I was funbling with my checkbook and trying to maneauver two full carts of groceries away from the checkout line to get the heck out of there. You calmed my baby, harnassed my wild children, helped me to my car, load up all my groceries while I fed Benjamin, gave me a big hug, and were quite literally a physical manifestation that God does know and love me enough to send angels when I need them the very most. Thank you for being my angel Patty. You are much, much better than you give yourself credit for. I love you! :)
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